How Clean Is Your Castle?

Our Clive has long had aspirations beyond his humble calling as Castle Custodian, and with the shock news last week that Kim Woodburn is quitting ‘How Clean Is Your House?’ Clive has become determined to seize to opportunity to become Aggie MacKenzie’s partner in grime.

Feel sorry for the man who has to clean a medieval castle which has six floors, all grand in dimension. The magnitude of such a task leaves lesser men quaking with fear. Clive simply bolts on his ghostbusters style vacuum cleaner and heads up the 149 steps and gets on with it.

The cleaning has to be done at least once a month, as the surface of the floors in the castle cause a lot of dust to be kicked up. The recent increase in visitors because of the summer holidays and House Of Bling exhibition has made the task even more daunting.

If any Channel Four executives are reading this, we won’t be letting Clive go without a fight.